Manipulation in teen dating relationships


Children, and particularly adolescents, are expert in the "pushing the buttons" of emotional susceptibility in parents, often using this knowledge in conflict to win their ways.

Many children growing up with a parent who is not safe to be around learn this manipulative behavior to survive and must then unlearn it later on or else they will afflict a significant adult relationship with emotional extortion to their cost.

However, if you want to tell me specifically about why you are feeling so upset, I certainly want to listen to what you have to say."Declaration creates understanding, but emotional manipulation creates distrust.

At worst, when feelings are expressed for extortionate effect, then the authentic value of those feelings can become corrupted.

In both cases, abusive behavior is used to control another person.Instead, he responds by asking a cynical question: "What do you want this time?" That's one consequence of emotional extortion; it can discredit the value of honest feeling.Give in to these tactics, and you will feel badly about yourself, your teenager, and your relationship, and more important may reluctantly allow what you know is unwise that could cause your adolescent to come to harm. "Parents must not only hold firm in the face of this emotional manipulation, they must hold the teenager to declarative account.Thus when the teenager uses intense anger or suffering to overcome a parental refusal, the parent needs to be able to say and mean: "Acting emotionally upset is not going to change my mind.Of course, just as the adolescent first learned the power of emotional extortion in childhood, so did you.

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