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I answered that I hadn’t really given it an extensive amount of thought but was kind of on the fence.

I didn’t say no firmly enough because I always felt like I had to be “cool” or “chill” or measure up to his gorgeous, laissez-faire ex.

I wasn’t angry after the breakup, but I’m angry now. I almost never recommend that a letter writer send something snarky and passive aggressive to an ex, particularly an ex with a history of disregarding indirect responses.

Here is the text you should send: “No, I’m not going to do that. I’m blocking your number.” There is no reason on earth for you to maintain a friendship—or even a bare acquaintance—with this person. There is nothing you can get out of further contact with him.

He’s extremely clear about the timeline he has in mind for getting married and having children, while you’re on the fence about the entire subject.

“We both agreed we wouldn’t be compatible long term if we had different thoughts on this” is your answer.

I missed him terribly both times and decided that I’m just not ready yet to hand him over to a babysitter for no good reason.

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