Still, despite the odds, sterotypes and other barriers, it does happen that Chinese men and foreign women get together.It happened for me — and a growing number of other women, including bloggers such as the Local Dialect, The Downtown Diner, and Wo Ai Ni.Of course, some of it has its roots in the usual stereotypes — stereotypes in the Western World.According to Sheridan Prasso’s book, The Asian Mystique: Dragon Ladies, Geisha Girls, & Our Fantasies of the Exotic Orient, Asian men in general have long been losers in the world of mainstream American media: If there are some admirable aspects of the portrayals of Asian women in Hollywood and on TV, it’s hard to say the same of the portrayals of Asian men.There are hardly enough books depicting foreign women with Chinese boyfriends or husbands. When you have a Chinese husband or boyfriend, sometimes you feel as if you belong to a lonely club. One of my dearest e-mail friends, a woman from Germany, once found me on the net because she had a — then — Chinese boyfriend and yearned to find someone to share her experience with.Off the top of my head, I can think of Rachel De Woskin’s Foreign Babes in Beijing: Behind the Scenes of a New China and Repeat After Me: A Novel, Nicole Mones’ Lost in Translation, and Pearl S. So I began to wonder — why are there so few Chinese guys and foreign girls becoming couples?When I’m in China, I tend to turn a lot of heads, especially in the countryside — and that’s not just because I’m a foreigner.It’s because I’m often seen holding hands with my Chinese husband.
With a few exceptions, Asian men on screen have been small, sneaky and threatening — or spineless, emasculated wimps, or incompetents who may well be technically proficient in martial arts, but impotent when faced with white man’s superior strength or firepower. Even today, Asian American men complain that action heroes such as Chow Yun Fat and Jackie Chan rarely get the girl.Not because he’s a Chinese man, or because our relationship is “unique” or different. “Good night, sweet Angel,” he texts you, just before you turn off your phone for the night. This may be due to the fact that so many more people today are using dating sites, social networks and various online forums to meet and interact with new people.Of course, back then, “online” consisted of IRC chat rooms on the IBM Mainframe that connected together the University systems across the state, as well as the online email and electronic bulletin board system that all of the college students used to stay connected to one another. I was painfully shy when meeting new people – bordering on some kind of clinical social anxiety disorder, I’m sure.However, I found when I introduced myself to a girl online, and they got to know my personality first, the first date would go smoothly.According to Xiao Yu, some Chinese men could never believe that such a girl would become their one and only. A driver who took me to the Beijing Airport this summer admitted he once had a Russian girlfriend when he was a college student.