You should know the signs of a toxic relationship and never let that slide. But, if it’s just a case of someone being kind of an ass, so what? Your job is to be a good friend, no matter how hard that is. “Some people come into your life for a reason, some a season, and some a lifetime.However long it was, be thankful for the gifts you received from them.” ~Unknown When I first met him, we instantly clicked. Early on, it became clear to me that while we were friends, we would not make a good romantic pair.I started to shove the multitude of reasons we shouldn’t be together under the rug, only to take them out occasionally to shame myself for wanting to be with him.As the months passed by and our weird relationship continued, I realized I was starting to have authentic feelings for him.“If you feel that your friend is being hurt, abused, berated, or shamed by their partner then you absolutely need to reach out to your friend and tell them.
I told myself that I could balance the division, but I couldn’t.We became fast friends aided by the fact that I was dealing with my father’s death and he was by my side whenever I needed someone. We had extremely opposing political views and philosophies on life, as well as different communication styles.For example, in the beginning we would get in arguments about religion.I was wearing rose-colored glasses and only saw the good parts of him, but I still didn’t feel right about the nature of our relationship. I’d had a dream that he slapped me across the face. I remember talking to a therapist a few years ago about this phenomenon.In the dream, I was sobbing, begging him for forgiveness as I held my hand over my black eye. While in “real” life he had never physically hurt me, I realized I was feeling disrespected emotionally by him and myself. I broke things off with him about a week after that. He was mature about it and apologized for his part in the ordeal, but it was not the route I wanted to go. She said, “Honey, we aren’t here on this earth to rise above life. The magic is in the mess.” We learn our lessons by going through intense life experiences, not by skipping through them. Shame is such a tricky emotion, and one I wrestle with daily.In fact, it was so dysfunctional that law enforcement got involved.